20070620

love?

Some important things to consider whether or not you should commit yourself to your partner.

What does it take to make a relationship work?

Is it love at first site? Is it based off a fleeting moment of marvelous intimacy?

Look at the research and take note, an everlasting relationship is built off of something more than what a person feels. It takes more than an impulse of attraction or an instinct that the person you met just last month can really be the person that will be your partner for the rest of your life.

In reality, here are some important considerations to make.

The ability to listen to and understand your partner is an invaluable asset. 83% of happy couples agree that their partner is a good listener; 18% of unhappy couples agree. 79% of couples agree that their partner understands how they feel; 13% of unhappy couples agree. It makes a person feel better if they know that their partner actually cares enough to listen and truly understands the situations they face.

Having a good balance of leisure time together and apart is important to maintain one's sanity. 71% of happy couples agree; 17% of unhappy couples agree. It is also important to be able to easily find things to do together. 86% of happy couples agree; 28% of unhappy couples agree. People need to be compatible in their schedules. If one person likes watching television on Friday nights and their partner likes going to the casino than there is going to be a problem because neither one of them would be happy unless they are doing what they want to do.

The ability to communicate one's emotions, feelings, and difficulties is important. 90% of happy couples are very satisfied with how they talk to each other; 15% of unhappy couples are satisfied. 78% of happy couples are creative in handling their differences; 15% of unhappy couples creatively handle differences. This shows how important it is to communicate and solve problems efficiently.

A person's financial maturity is incredibly important. What would be the point of one person being frugal and the other buying everything under the sun? It is a recipe for disaster and even resentment. 80% of happy couples say making financial decisions is not difficult; 32% of unhappy couples agree. The ability to handle one's finances is important and it directly affects the well being of their partner. If you are incompatible when it comes to money you are incompatible, move on.

85% of happy couples indicate their sexual relationship is satisfying and fulfilling; 29% of unhappy couples agree. Some sexual difficulties can be worked out but if you aren't on the same level it isn't going to work because it isn't going to be enough for one of you.

Flexibility and willingness to solve problems is important. 87% of happy couples are both willing to make adjustments to the relationship; 46% of unhappy couples agree. 85% of happy couples can share feelings with their partner during disagreements; 22% agree. Can you argue without feeling put down or belittled? If not, move on.

Having an understanding of your partner is so important it gets a second mention. 87% of happy couples indicate their partner understands their ideas and opinions; 19% of unhappy couples agree. Comfort and admiration of your partner is the foundation of mutual respect.

To sum it all up:
  • Listening skills are important. If your partner doesn't listen to you, find someone that does.
  • The way you spend time together is important. If you have trouble finding things to do together that both of you are happy with, move on.
  • Communicating how we feel is what translates into self-worth. If you aren't able to communicate to your partner you may feel worthless and it is time to step back and move on.
  • Financial compatibility is so important. If you are having money problems and your partner is not willing to make changes, you need to seriously separate or else you may be drug down into financial ruin.
  • Sexual intimacy needs to be something you both appreciate in similar ways or else it really isn't going to work.
  • Solve your problems. If you aren't able to solve problems they will accumulate and eventually overwhelm you. End the relationship and find someone that you can work things out with.
  • Mutual respect and understanding. If you don't have it the relationship should be over.
Credit to Psychology Today for publishing their survey results: Love Is Not All You Need

No comments:

Post a Comment

Thank you for sharing. I appreciate that you viewed this content and that it was worth enough thought for you to comment about it.