Obama administration to become fiscally responsible

In an unprecedented turn of events the Obama administration has issued a statement that the federal government will become fiscally responsible. During this morning's press conference White House Press Secretary, Robert Gibbs, stated

"The Administration has decided that after some two hundred years of existence, the United States of America will become fiscally responsible. We pledge to create and implement fiscally responsible policies that will reduce and within three years eliminate the federal deficit. Public programs that millions of Americans depend on will be streamlined. Corporate welfare will cease. Corporate bailouts have happened far too many times. Taxes on capital gains will be returned to reasonable levels. We will crack down on military waste and fraud. Agribusiness will no longer receive subsidies totaling $30.5 billion each year.

These are but a few of the many changes that our government will implement. President Obama campaigned on the idea of change we can believe in. It is time that we not only believe it, but that we act on it. Government spending will be reduced. Profitable corporations will be fairly taxed. Salaries will be fairly limited. Unions will be encouraged. The wealthiest five percent will be fairly taxed. Income taxes for seventy five percent of the population will be decreased.

This country will finally be an example to the world. The United States will lead the way to sustainability and fiscal responsibility. The United States will never again be the laughing stock of the industrialized world. America will be the country it should have always been. Please see the White House Website for a detailed summary of the President's plan."

The Obama administration is clearly taking a huge step to rid the country of public corruption and to improve the lives of all Amerikans.

1 comment:

Anon said...

Sounds like an April fools joke to me haha.

What is a "fair" tax? Wouldn't it be fair to say that I do not want anything to with the federal government so I withdraw my consent and wish not to pay for any forced services? Although I like the part about reducing spending the second paragraph seems very socialist to me.

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